Whilst I have been on the road across California for my Stand up Tour of the USA, Lovely Mark has been hard at work.
I would argue that three teenagers, two mad dogs, a house and a job are quite enough to be getting along with in my absence.
But he has been embracing his new job as the Landlord of the Katie’s Arms, and has new products and better postage rates (for all but Europe) to show for it.
We have great 'Offity Piss' hats in red, white and blue — just in case you really aren’t in the mood to deal with morons that day.
We have perfectly soft ladies 'Offity Piss' t-shirts — with a v neck and shorter sleeve so that our boobs look splendid and we appear to actually have arms.
And we have lovely quality gents T’s which go up to a size XXL. Contrary to the urban myth that I do not like chumba-whumbas, we even have lovely t-shirts for the more comfortably sized bloke. And I would like to add, that thank God for real men.
One of my favourite new products Lovely Mark has designed are a range of brilliant Gift Cards. I love them. They are fun and frank and tell it like it is, and are all expressions used by yours truly. Finally you might actually have a card you look forward to sending a mate. And you never know, it might give some of the woke brigade in their family something to get excited about!
The tote is a really good quality item and I think Lovely Mark is genius for being able to create this kind of illustration. But I clearly have reservations about anyone carrying my face around on a bag with them. Perhaps we can agree it will help fend off the lunatics we are surrounded by. And I quite like the idea that we are reclaiming the tote from the eco-warrior brigade. I am hoping members of my darling gay army will embrace this tote as their own.
Lovely Mark and I totally appreciate no one has buckets of spare cash to be throwing about at the moment, and thats where our Offity Piss pens and pins come in handy.
I love the idea that you can appear to be ‘conforming’ to the madness you are surrounded by, whilst wearing an Offity Piss pin. If a customer or boss is annoying the hell out of you, why not offer them your Offity Piss pen to write with?
I think we can all agree, it is so annoying when postage costs seem way higher than the price of a stamp. Or worse still postage that costs more than the thing you want to buy.
Lovely Mark is fast becoming a postage nerd. And whilst this is great news for The Katie’s Arms it may not be the scintillating conversation I was hoping for on my return home.
But home would not be home without the Lovely Mark, and of course it is the certainty of home that allows me to embrace the uncertainty of the road. Lovely Mark calls me Little BIrdy. And it is him that allows me to fly most freely of all.
'Offity Piss' may be a small act of defiance. But every great thing starts from a small beginning and your pins, your pen, your hat or your T is a reminder that you are not alone. We are many. And we are stronger together.
These have been very difficult years. Everything we thought we knew has been thrown to the wall, and the things we wanted to trust in, needed to trust in have been shown to be a sham.
But much remains. Decent people who simply want the very best for each other are joined by that one ideal. We know we are up against it. But I am endlessly optimistic we will prevail.
You can only take so much from people before they have nothing left to lose. And as I know very well, when you have nothing lose you become just about as free as it is possible to be.
So go you good things, go. Tell the rest to 'Offity Piss'. And I will see you, somewhere, on the road.
Lots of love
Katie Hopkins
Wife of The Landlord The Katie’s Arms
