The Glass Slipper Edition

Dear Katie’s Arms Regulars

With only a few days left until we take a little break for Christmas, I wanted to write a personal note to you before we close out the year.

I should start by saying congratulations! Wherever you are on the planet, YOU SURVIVED 2024 and that’s quite the achievement.

We have been hit from all sides with the kind of surround-sound-madness usually reserved for loony-toon asylums. Or North Korea.

Here in the UK we have a mutant called ‘Ed Miliband' back in our lives gurning on about net zero, something we never asked for and certainly don’t want. How a guy that struggles to eat a bacon sandwich is now in charge of British energy security. We have net zero faith in him.

The pantomime continues; the two ugly sisters, Rachel Reeves and Angela Raynor seem to be making every best effort to make life as miserable as possible for as many people as they can, with all sectors of the economy contracting like a wilted penis in response to their nonsense. Ceramic Bob head Rachel (Hair By Lego) and The Ginger Growler are quite the sidekicks to their Cinderella, Kier Starmer. Something tells me he enjoys his evenings in a frock when no one is watching. I am pretty sure Lord Alli supplies his frilly pants.

And it is not just politics that’s testing us is it? Covid-mania definitely did something very odd to some people's brains and I think many are lost forever; loving rules, trying to make life smaller and handing away their freedoms like candy.

But not us.

Because we are getting stronger by the day. Many of us are starting to feel the winds of change swirling about.

For the first time in British history, a new political party has broken the stranglehold of ‘Labour or Conservative’. Reform are headline news on a daily basis and the left aren’t liking it one bit.

Meanwhile the ‘I’m so right on it hurts’ idiots are quietly knocking their pronouns off their social media bios hoping we don’t notice. It’s a clear sign the power of the gender bending brigade is starting to wane. No more They/ Them/ Zir. More Sod/ Right/Off. Getting men out of women’s sports and their changing rooms cannot come quickly enough.

Cash usage has grown for the second year in a row, bucking many years of endless decline. I know this is you lot fighting back and I love it. The determination of our family to pay with cash and to encourage places to take cash is a brilliant way of making our voices heard and very awkward for the digital mafia who are forced to continue to provide access to cash for British people.

And our American allies have been utterly tremendous and elected Trump back into office. Regardless of anyones politics, we can agree Kamala Harris made even Meghan Markle look authentic. In the coming years we may well see Farage take the UK, Marine Le Pen take France, and Pierre Poilievre take the reigns in Canada. Ugly leftist ‘women’ will need a whole sea to scream at. I say women in the loosest possible sense.

More important than the political class, ordinary people are gaining in determination and lacing up their fighting boots. I can see it in the way we go about the place, even how we enter a room.

I am certain 2025 is going to be a great year for us all. I will be endlessly on the road, giving us a reason to gather and remember what it feels like to belong.

I’ll be celebrating with our American friends on January 20th in DC; in Shoreditch (the belly of the beast) for our podcast event in February; and, then beginning the warm up to my Batshit Bonkers Britain 2025 Stand Up Tour in April.

I cannot wait to see you all as I travel across the five nations with my trusty team; Lovely Mark, Nikky Nick Nick - the Vegan, Big Wayne and Queen of Snacks Sue. I will be treading the boards at over 50 venues to join us all together with laughter and shared a spirit of freedom. This tour we will be making a special fuss of our Single Pringles. If you feel on your own, come along. I promise you will leave with friends.

I tell you often, ours is the side to be on.

Ours is the side that wants to laugh and feel better, to be as free and as happy as we can be. Be what you want, think what you want, do what you want — as long as you afford us the same courtesy.

And as we head into the new year I say this with certainty. We are winning. This fight is worth it. Whether you feel it or not, you are starting to turn the oil tanker towards the sunshine.

We just have to keep going, to keep turning up and to keep cheering each other on. And as I head off for some turkey in my nipple tassels, (uncertain why I felt the need to add that) you have my word I will be back very soon to keep socking it to the powerful and give voice to those who feel unheard.

You are not alone, we are many and we are stronger together.

I wish all visitors to the Katie’s Arms a Very Merry Christmas.

Keep smiling my lovelies, it really annoys the miserable bastards

Katie and Lovely Mark

PS, if you know someome who needs to hear this message please share it. Perhaps they would drop their email at www.katiesarms.com to join our family?